sweet grey happenings

Letter – Delivered

Dear Mr. Scale,

I’m writing to tell you we need to take a small break. Really, understand that it’s me, not you.  You are very good at what you do, but me – I think our relationship has become a bit lopsided.  Really, it’s me, not you.

We’ve have spent so much time together! Every morning for 78 weeks. Five hundred and forty-six days – see, I can do math too! You get to see me mostly naked – skin, stretch marks, cellulite, all of it. You have a job to do – to quantify. And you do it so well. Every morning. Weight, fat percentage, fat pounds, water percentage, BMI. So much information.

We’ve been through a lot, you and me. You’ve seen me lose five dress sizes and who knew I’d lose a shoe size. Now, there’s a bag of chicken feed less of me stepping up on you in the morning. You’ve been an amazing support, providing great markers of success.

But for whatever reason – lately, you’ve become my only marker of success, and recently you haven’t been showing me any new numbers. Call it a plateau or some kind of stagnation. The past two weeks, I’ve realized it’s more a lack of resolve on my part – whatever it is – it’s discouraging.  It’s torture to spend time with you in the morning, every morning. So we need to take a break.  I need to get my head on straight, get refocused, and then we can come back and start over and see where it goes.

You see, lately my reflection is starting to match what I see in my head. I’m having fun being active – hiking, beach walks, yoga – I even fostered a greyhound and took a burlesque dance class earlier this year. All of these are tangible markers that you, Mr. Scale, can’t quantify.  Nor can you see my muscles, my smile. Nor my hope, strength, courage or resolve. You don’t know the people I’ve met along the way who have inspired me by their courage and strength. Nor do you know the greatest compliment (that I’ve just recently started receiving) – that I am inspiring to others. You have no way to make that a number on your little LED screen.

I admit, I’ve let my little pathetic toe injury slow me down. I admit, I’ve made a lot of excuses lately. So today – I’m recommitting to some of the little changes that lead to some big changes in my life over the past 78 weeks.

One of those changes is that we will take a break until August 20th. This break is scary – not going to lie – super, super scary – plaguing me with “What If’s” – but I’m going on faith that if I do the work, what worked before will work again. Even if the numbers you can show me haven’t changed – if I’m on track for running the 10k at the end of the September, if my strength and flexibility are increasing because of yoga, if my clothes are still fitting – then that is success.  Success isn’t always based on a number alone.

The bottom line, Mr. Scale, I’ll see you in a month.  You have a very good vacation (wherever you have been hidden).  Maybe I’ll get you a new battery as a reunion gift. Until then, I’m going to put you out of my mind and “GO.”

Me

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This entry was published on July 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm. It’s filed under Active, beauty, Women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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